Continuing our “what next” series, I’m proud to present an essay from J. Stapley, of widespread fame within the Bloggernacle and proprietor of the Splendid Sun website. Thanks, J., for your thoughts and reflections!
I have written before that one of the grand narratives of Mormonism is one of discovery and that knowledge often requires modifications in world-view. I often refer to a world view as a structure that incorporates points or anchors in the three dimensional plane of reality. When new points are added to the plain or others are changed a modification of the structure is required. Sometimes this modification is simple and expansive, on other occasions it may be violent and painful.
I have experienced both. I have considered all options regarding my membership in the Church and in the end, I remain. This is another grand narrative in Mormonism; to stay while others walk away.
I am an ethnic Mormon. I am the progeny of polygamous lines. Moreover, my family is quite active in the Church. All my siblings, myself included, are married in the Temple and continue to attend. My parents have been consistently active in church leadership.
My father is a chemist and my mother a musician and poet. Of all my siblings, I am the synthesis of my parents; however, the pragmatist wins and I am a chemist by training. I have post-graduate degree and work in the industrialization of my research.
My parents are also what I would consider mystical and perhaps charismatic Mormons. I grew up with the stories of God’s power made manifest in their lives and those of their parents. The stories of prophecy, miraculous healings, blessings. And I found my own stories. There are a few points in my structure which represent the application of faith. Real points. The voice of God. Power over the elements. Revelation.
I grew up with the standard church education, though I started going to Gospel Doctrine at age 16 because I felt like I was being patronized. I started teaching Mechezidek priesthood at 18. I had a penchant for speculative doctrine, but my concepts of history were quite correlated. My world view was a simple structure, naïve in many ways, but also beautifully idyllic.
Like many, the discovery narrative continued to unearth aspects challenging to my world view. Points accumulated outside my structure and the feeling of edginess in my pathetic institutional rebellion withered away and a winter of crisis chilled my soul. The structure of my worldview was destroyed, not lovingly, but violently and perhaps by my own hand. I considered all possible solutions and I could abide none. I was fortunate, for in that hour, a loved one let me cry in pain. That catharsis was the beginning my new worldview.
I did reevaluate every point in the former structure. While most persisted, some did not and I was liberated. I stood and spread my folded wings. The new structure is different, perhaps more accommodating to future change or dynamic; but, I find it beautiful, more than the first.
This is the study of history; it makes us more charitable and forgiving. We become more tolerant and kind. We become stronger and indefatigable. We see the lives of those who went before us as we become part of their story and they part of ours. We find our heroes and heroines who suffered greater strains on world view than our own…prophets even. Or we perish, as many have since the beginning and yet will – but I remain.
I believe in the restoration. I believe in the sacraments. I believe in the living Church, of which I am part. And now, quite importantly, I believe that I am integral to this living body and not just it to me.


Beautiful.
Brilliantly written. You have described my experience better than I could have myself. Thank you.
“This is the study of history; it makes us more charitable and forgiving. We become more tolerant and kind. We become stronger and indefatigable. We see the lives of those who went before us as we become part of their story and they part of ours. We find our heroes and heroines who suffered greater strains on world view than our own…prophets even. Or we perish, as many have since the beginning and yet will – but I remain.”
This is wonderful. I have found peace in forgiving others for not being as perfect as I once wanted them to be, and forgiving myself for wounded pride that comes with the process of building a new worldview.
Thank you for this story. I found the prose to be beautiful and poetic. But what I found most beautiful was that you remained and that you said those two words (I remain) so well. Thank you again.
A deeper respect for you, your ideas - comments - posts, and a better understanding of who you are. Thanks for the insight.
Thanks everyone.
There have been some inquiries as to whether this post indicates that I am a believer or not. If the last paragraph was not sufficient, let me now reaffirm that I unequivicably am.
J,
I thank you too. Like you, I “remain” as well…more than anything, because there hasn’t been a quake in my life sufficient to unsettle me from the place…but many have had that sufficient experience, including those of us (or our ancestors) who made the decision to no longer remain in place but to seek-out a new faith and found the mormon faith.
Much of your narrative could be shared by individuals of other faiths…we have these things in common…including the decision to remain until sufficiently moved.
Would you mind sharing just what it would take to move you away from your current world view regardless of the pain?
J, your allegory reminds me of a poem that Linda Sillitoe send to Lavina Fielding Anderson:
That is a nice piece, Hellmut. If it were me, though, I jumped.
Watt, I suspect that my worldview will continue to change…I hope it does. But I suspect you intend to ask what would be required for me to leave my Faith. To answer, I don’t believe there will be anything. I already have seen the bulk of the non-correlated history; and I have had spiritual experiences that reffirm my Faith. I guess, hypothetically, if God told me to stop being Mormon, then I would stop…but that is beyond my current realm of possibility.
J.: Would you say that your spiritual experiences which confirm your faith have also resolved your intellectual issues? Or do you still live with significant dissonance between your rational mind and your spirit by subordinating the purely rational to the spiritual? It seems to me that the issue that separates a great many of the well informed believers from the well informed unbelievers is that the unbelievers either (i) have not had the spiritual experiences that the believers have had, or (ii) have had similar spiritual experiences, but do not attach the same weight to them because they do not see them as reliable indicators of truth.
I’d like to tag onto what garf just said:
I’n asking my question about “what it would take to move”, I’m coming from this perspective…that perceived significance/meaning of spiritual events can also change, given sufficient motivation.
So, I’m assuming that god speaks to us, not typically in a clear, face-to-face kind of way, but through various experiences and impressions; and that we’re free and likely to interpret those experiences and impressions according to our world view. What kinds of experiences and impressions would you imagine could move you beyond your current state? Other than god speaking to you in clear, face-to-face kind of way?
I don’t know that spiritual experiances resolve intellectual issues per se. But I think they can result in drastic changes in world view (e.g., Alma II). There are some world views that are incompatable to faith, it is true. I’m not well enough versed to debate the different approaches to epistemology and I don’t think I really can speak for those without faith.
I’m starting to think that there may be two aspects that help people stay in mormonism despite the intellectual dilemmas they have faced. First, strong spiritual experiences related to mormonism that they can point to as clear answers to their prayers of the church’s truthfulness. Second, just fitting in with the culture, getting along with fellow members, and enjoying attending church.
If these two things are absent, it seems much more difficult to stay, and indeed, there would be no reason to do so.
Bucky, I agree that your two factors are important in determining how we handle intellectual dilemmas. As a person who’s faced intellectual dilemmas myself, but who has chosen to stay, I can say that in my experience, the first factor — spiritual experiences — was sufficient to make up for the partial absense of the second factor. I don’t generally feel culturally Mormon, and indeed I sometimes find self-conscious “Mormon culture” awkward and alienating. This doesn’t mean that it’s actually awkward, just that deliberate demonstrations of cultural “Mormonness” remind me of the extent to which I’m not culturally Mormon.
I do typically get along with fellow members, although my forthrightness about my politics (when asked) can cause people anxiety. But I usually don’t really enjoy attending church, other than the sacrament or if I’m teaching Sunday School. I find that the rhythms of our devotional services, largely involving vociferous instruction and speculation rather than quiet meditation, do more to impede than produce devotional feelings in me. So I attend as a sign of community membership and as a form of sacrifice and obedience.
But, in spite of the awkward nature of my fit with Mormon culture, I am fully committed because of my spiritual experiences.
Well, I think that you are great Jean. I admire you and your position. We need more of you on the blogs. We also need more people like you.
I have been getting tired of reading posts from bitter and angry people who have left the church because of one reason or another. I don’t want to deny their bitterness or anger but it is a relief to read your story.
I also wondered if you were still in the church but when I went to your blog I realized that you were in the church…I felt relieved not for you but for me. I suppose I need more uplifting faith promoting stories at the moment.
Bucky,
I think there are more things that just those two. Yes, my experiences with the spirit are strong reasons for me to believe. But, I am also in awe of the revelations that came through the Prophet Joseph Smith. They show such depth of understanding of the human experience and attain a beautiful synthesis with all revealed doctrine both in the New and Old Testament.
Futhermore, and I put less emphasis of this, but intellectually there are things that are difficult to explain without the restored gospel being true.
Why me, please stay tuned. We have upcoming essays in the series both from people who’ve left the church (one of which is an angry post, one of which is sad to me, and one of which involves a quest for a new direction). But we also have essays from a person who spent 15 years as an atheist but then returned to full, faithful activity as well as a recent convert who is struggling to achieve cultural and spiritual integration into the church but who is maintaining activity through that process.
I hope that these discussions, taken as a whole, will help meet your need for uplifting content on the Internet. If not, I recommend Bookslinger’s website — which is full of truly remarkable stories of devotion and dedication.
That’s great! I think that it is wonderful that we all can read from members who are struggling with the gospel but remain in and others who are faithful regardless of what they have read about church history.
And yes, it is also great to read other stories from those who have left. Of course I have read many of these type of stories on other websites but I appreciate more the ‘I remain’ stories only because they are unique in many ways and yet I don’t know why I find such stories unique…But there must be a reason.
The ‘What Next’ series is a good idea and so is this website. As a former communist I find the name of the site hospitable.
Lovely J, Thank you so much for sharing this. It was very touching.
Great story, this whole series has been amazing.
what causes an anxiety attack…
What an Amazing Proram…
abs thigh and butt exercises…
Truth About 6 Pack Abs…